all your base are belong to us

2005-11-12T07:50:00.000-08:00

1) i'd never read a more poignant blog entry...

2) i was really happy to see you today even though it was only for 15 minutes. when i heard about you that day i was so scared i really thought i'd lost you forever but i'm so glad and so thankful that you're still here and i think i dont say this enough and dont show it enough but you mean the world to me and i love you.

2) happy confirmation to tins (LOVE YOU TONS) val clara roy josh.

3) my brothers are the nicest guys in the world. sometimes it takes something dramatic to make you appreciate what u'd always taken for granted.

4) i can't wait for december.

2005-11-09T05:18:00.000-08:00

God really works in mysterious ways. so many things have happened in the past few weeks. i'm pretty much convinced that they all happened for a reason. it's about time i got back to working on my faith.

i love my family for everything and i will always remember how my big bro had quite literally saved my life. indeed, i agree it was more than just cooincidence.

thank you macc, for being the sweetest girls in the world. i promise to take care of myself. you girls take care too.

i will be on DND mode for the next few days. sorry if i don't answer any sms-es or phone calls. unless you call my home, that is. but i will probably be asleep or resting anyway.

2005-11-07T05:35:00.000-08:00

you never realise the importance of anything
until you come this close to losing it

and this has happened before
i counted
1 2 3
and now 4

and this time i promise
i will never
ever
take any of you for granted again

i pray for your recovery
and i know that you'll be alright soon.

please be strong for us.

2005-10-30T10:00:00.000-08:00

i saw your text and i saw your entry and i just wanna say that i'll always feel blessed for having you too. and you, and you.

2005-10-28T10:04:00.000-07:00

i'm strange. i cry when i hear certain chord progressions in moderate and slow paced songs, even if the songs are about weird and stupid things like bats and vampires.
hmmm....

2005-10-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

to the 3 most important girls in my life: we'll be there for each other. always.

2005-10-22T07:40:00.000-07:00

i got my first parking fine on thursday. i didn't see it till i was halfway home. now imagine if it'd been raining and i'd turned on the wipers...

at first i thought my mum had left her ntuc receipt on the car. but when i realised that the figure at the bottom amounted to less than a hundred, i knew something was wrong. i was so sad i almost ate a carrot.

i hate carorts 'cos they're orangey and carroty. and they remind me of rabbits. we used to have 2 rabbits at home. i think i've said that before. yea...i mentioned that in the post about my horror rabbits.

anyway i didn't have carrots around in the car, so i ended up drinking water. water is good for your health. but if you drink too fast and too much, you can get water-intoxicated. i think. i didn't want that to happen cos i really didn't wanna get caught for drink-driving after the parking problem. that'd be too depressing for a wimp like me.

so i've learnt my lesson: it's not cool to cheat on parking. it just makes you sad and poor.

but what makes me happy is the knowledge that i'm not the only one who thinks that trees and birds are evil: ccc2 got attacked by braches and twigs (as well as a blind dog, but that's the less important part of the story). and ccc3's friend's head got burrowed through by crow's stinkin beak. hope her brain didn't get damaged. "beak" is a funny word. so is "brain". funnier than "plaza". but "funny" is funny word. funnier than "smithereens" i think. it's hard to make up my mind.

i want money.

2005-10-16T06:46:00.000-07:00

i learnt two things today.

1) fishes and mothers are interesting creatures.

it was raining heavily today and i found my mum sitting at my piano reading the papers and glancing out every once in awhile to check on the garden. she'd been there for awhile, and was getting sleepy so she told me to sit there instead to keep watch. for what, i didn't really know nor did i care at that moment 'cos it never occured to me that i'd be sitting there for that long. an hour later i was growing bored just looking at the rain and at the grass and all, but it didn't really matter cos looking at green stuff's supposed to be good for the eyes anyway. but something fantastic happened, and everything started to make sense.

when it rains heavily, the pond gets crowded with water and the crazy fishies like hanging out near the surface instead of chillin at the deep ends. and when it gets crowded with water things, the whole garden gets flooded, and the fish think that the pond's expanded by 19.3 times and take the opporunity to explore new grounds. and they get so happy that they don't realise what they're doing. so there's this fish, i like to call him mr. fish. he's kinda like the fish version of christopher columbus. i'm not really sure if mr. fish is a guy or a girl, but it doesn't really matter to me. anyway mr. fish was really brave and courageous and stuff. or just plain stupid, i don't know. mr. fish got really happy that it was raining cos it meant navigation time. so mr. fish got out of the pond, into the garden, down to the porch, off the slope, under the gate, and onto the road.

pretty exciting stuff huh.

it was all fascinating for me, sitting there watching all the action happening. then i suddenly realised that the reason i was asked to keep watch was to look out for escaping fish like mr. fish. i didn't really know what to do cos i'd only been fishing once, and i ended up killing the fish. i didn't wanna kill mr. fish so i had to call my mum down. she's really good at catching fish alive. she took the net and scooped him up and put him back into the pond, and told him to stay there. then i wanted to give him a doggy snack, but realised he was a fish so i threw some fish food in as a reward. it floated out into the garden.

anyway lesson number 2 is don't lock your wallet and phone in the car boot.

2005-10-03T08:14:00.000-07:00

it's been about 8 years since i last clipped my fingernails, simply because i've been chewing on them like crazy. it all started when i saw my older bro biting his nails. i thought it looked pretty funky and all so i decided to try it out. kinda like the peer pressure that you get when all your friends say that they're going to pee, and you wanna go pee too.

so anyways the first time i bit my nails i really bit them deep and it hurt like hell. and i said to myself, i'll never do it again. then my mum thought i was crazy cos i was talking to myself. so i decided to take back what i said and that's when the habit was born.

i've tried so hard to get over this lousy habit. many people have recommended a whole lot of 'cures' but nothing's really worked. i've tried nailpolish, but i ended up eating it instead, almost poisoning myself in the process. and looking really strange since i can't really paint my nails well. i've tried nail varnish, but that's been even worse because i can't even see anything i just bite away and get varnishy tastes in my mouth instead. then there's been the, i'll paste lotsa plasters all over my fingers method. but i couldn't really do anything with the plasters on my 10 fingers because the plasters got in the way and i had chunky fingers that couldn't grip anything or type or whatever. and people kept giving me sympathetic looks, as if i'd gotten badly injured by a running piece of beef in the field.

my brother said he overcame his biting habits by sticking his fingers in chemicals and mud. well thing is, chemicals kida corroded his fingers and mud just looks like shit. i don't really know what to do. maybe i should wear cinderella gloves. or maybe i should just borrow those gardening gloves. or even better, baking-oven glove thingies! in fact, there's a set just downstairs...i'll see if they fit...

2005-10-01T11:03:00.000-07:00

today i got a balloon from my friend and a nice little present from aunty c...all for looking and acting like a kid.

boy, am i getting smarter. i have more intelligent questions today. like why do they call kids "kids"? and why do they call goats "kids"? why don't they call baby goats "goatlets"? and why did i have to be the goat in speech and drama class, and not the troll? and why is mutton the flesh of sheep and not goats? and how can i acquire the mutton song? and why is the talking lamb in the lamb chop the show called lamb chop not little lamb or something? and why do people say, i'm eating lamb chop, but not say i'm eating pig chop? and why don't they say, look there's some beef running in the field (yummy...) ??

don't mind me. being inquisitive is all part and parcel of being a kid. happy childrens day! and yes i do wear kids shoes at times.

2005-09-28T05:22:00.000-07:00

well i know you guys are sick of chickens, so i'll talk about eggs. yesterday we went to the line for breakfast, and there was this crazed guy who kept pacing up and down with an empty plate in his hands and a distressed look on his face. finally, he jogged over to the egg station and kinda grabbed a handful of raw eggs and brought them back to his table. then, leaving the plate and the eggs there, he left the restaurant, never to return. rather odd behaviour, if you ask me. i guess he was disturbed.

anyway, i thought that that guy was real cool. that's why i'm blogging about the incident, so that i'll remember him forever and forever. amen. i wanted to ask for his name, but he was in such a hurry, i didn't get to talk to him.

other than that, it was a pretty normal breakfast, although! we were treated real nice. i mean we'd been there a few times before and the service is always great, but yesterday we decided to pretend to be tourists and we put on some fake-o accents and acted all dumb, and well well well...interesting results, i must say.

the other time we did that was at the botanics. we ended up looking at the national flower and listening to singapore history cos the woman thought we were pretty enthusiastic about learning about the country. hm.

i havent been to the botanics in awhile, but i know my friend has. and she keeps telling me about swans...

which reminds me. antrophie123s look like swans, if you ask me. maybe that's why swans are so scary...

which in turn reminds me of this incident that happened when i went on a family trip over at some strange place. or was it australia? a swan walked into the lift. how cool is that! that stupid bird was way cooler than the egg-guy. well my brothers keep telling me that such a thing never happened and that i'm really having a 'false memory'. but i'm almost 100% certain i saw it happening. my dad claims there WERE swans all around that resort anyways so i mean it could have happened, for all you know.

now i wanna go to the night safari or zoo. but i wanna go there for b&j, not the animals, dammit!

2005-09-17T09:51:00.000-07:00

looks like my posts have attained a whole new level of maturity. now they're actually thought-provoking.

since the time i published the previous post, i haven't stopped thinking about this terribly challenging question:

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

the best i could think of, that was a genuine reflection of reality, was, "to retrieve its head". honestly now. the headless chicken story is true. ask sammie.

but really i still like the stapled chicken answer.

ah well. some things are just meant to be left unanswered.

2005-09-17T07:28:00.000-07:00

i saw a chicken running down a grassy slope today. looked like it was gonna ram into the concrete stuff in the drain. it was near church by the way, where the headless chicken was found walkin around in circles before collapsing. don't really know why chickens grow there. maybe the egg distributor nearby decided to bury some chicken eggs n the ground. all this chicken stuff sounds pretty interesting to me, tho not as interesting as chicken boo. i thought chicken boo was really funny. but these chickeny tales have got nothing to do with this post. just thought you'd like to know.

another thing you might like to know is that i wish that money grew on grass. better than trees cos trees are just too high. grass is short, so that's cool. oh yea and contrary to 1 popular belief, i'm not mr. goodisgrass. mr. goodisgrass is just my friend. my friend is mr. goodisgrass. wonder if grass is tasty?

anyways, back the main part of the post: i just discovered the ultimate white chocolate sauce recipe.

ingredients: condensed milk.

method: 1) open can. serves many.

i suppose if you wanted it thinner you could just put some thinner or water or something.

p/s: PS stands for plaza singapura. just thought you'd like to know that too.

2005-09-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

i saw a girl swallow fly today. cool.

2005-09-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

today we had a nice little lecture about bestiality and stuff like that. you know, about animals and humans being good friends and all. pretty kinky if you ask me.

but animals have always been a subject of interest in poetry. well, in my childhood poetry at least. there was my horsey worsey poem (neigh neigh neigh, it makes my ears pain / but i can make it stop, if i make it tame) that i wrote when i was 6.5 years old, and the dog poem (about ruzzle the muzzle dog king) that i wrote when i was 6.6 years old.

then there was my brother's poem, my all time favourite poem. in fact i love it so much i shall type it out here:

i had a cat

his name was matt

he caught a rat

named spate.

i don't really know if he wanted to name the rat "spat" instead of "spate", but spate's more of a rat name, if you ask me. spate would also be a good name for a fire breathing dragon. or a lizard.

today i met a dead lizard in the library. he was plastered onto the floor next to the chair that i was sitting in. i think i attract lizards.

i was once stranded on a topper with a lizard. i'd also accidentally killed a lizard in the toilet by slamming the door on it and slicing it into 2 nice little sections. not that i don't think it's gross, but you know, it's kinda cool in an odd kinda way.

and i also found a lizard in my shoe once. and in the toilet at camp too. and in my cereal (it was koko krunch).

but i can't beat mark. mark had a lizard fall into his shirt once. and he had a helluva time jumpin around with mr. lizard. oh yes did you know that i have a pet lizard called mr. groove? i think i said that before.

if you wanna see him groove you should ask avril for the video about him assasinating cl's pet lizard.

2005-09-06T09:07:00.000-07:00

ok the chief will be back with updates but that will probably be in a week's time. not many interesting things have been happening so there hasn't really been much to blog about.

BUT. i need to post something very important for one of my BESTEST, CLOSEST FRIENDS in the entire universe:

CHRIS! HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love you sooooooooo (x9999999999999) much. well i shan't embarrass you here by writing a long long speech about how precious a friend you are to me, although it's really tempting....haha. thank you for that loveeely dinner. (i feel like i'm becoming a "margot". this is bad.)

alritey then. i shall be updating soon.

2005-08-26T08:18:00.000-07:00

the chief has been going to school for quite awhile now, and has been feeling quite dumb around all those clever people. so the chief feels that in order to achieve a level of smartness, the chief should start talking about seriously serious stuff with the chief's clever friends. after much deliberation, the chief finally decided that mr. goodisgrass was the best person to talk to (even though the chief doesn't like corn).

i asked mr. goodisgrass what he thought was an intelligent subject, but all he said was 'hermits' and 'i like corn'. i told him i didn't like corn and that i didn't know much about hermits, but he just started clapping his hands and couldn't stop.

it was getting quite disturbing so i decided to watch some tv when some random girl from the tv started talking about 6 degrees of separation. i thought about what she said and took out a funny instrument from the mathetmatical set and found out that 6 degrees of separation wasn't that much.

then i decided to try my best to be smart so i decided to apply the idea of "hermits" to this protractor theory. goodisgrass wanted to be smart too, so we brainstormed for 9 hours on situations when this theory could possibly be wrong. this is what we came up with:

1) when there was a scientist who worked in a secret lab on the top of the hill who didn't tell any of his friends/relatives of his ongoing experiment that was really about creating humans from petri dishes. the scientist never really got the experiment going until one day he accidentally blew up his lab and died, and the fire acted as some crazy agent that activated the weirdo solution in his petri dish that led to the creation of a human being who rolled down from the top of the hill and ended up getting stuck in an undiscovered hole in the ground, which was full of corn, water and oxygen. now in such a situation, nobody would really know of his existence, i think. but i'm not sure.

the easier scenario was this:

2) when you took mr. goodisgrass and the chief as examples. i think i only have 1 friend on friendster (mr. goodisgrass too). so we're not really linked to the rest of the world. that's pretty sad. but that's ok because i like cookies.

p/s: mr goodisgrass is the author of the corn blog (see my feature interview post). he likes corn and has earned some stars and alphabets in psle, o levels and a levels.

2005-08-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

it's my akisybaby's birthday!
happy birthday to my one and only bozo friend!!

thank you for everything
you're such an important person in my life
really dont know where i'd be without you
life would really suck if i didnt know you
ok shit it's getting all mushy
very bad

anyways
we need to go for a japanese buffet soon...haha
and increase our stock of photographs.
take care
love you loads dear :)

2005-08-19T22:19:00.000-07:00

hey guys
just helping my friend with publicity here...

bizad jam n hop 05
24 aug 05 @ zouk 9pm
guys $16, girls $12 (2 complimentary drinks)

on a separate note, i think i'm addicted to waffles. this is bad.

2005-08-18T07:02:00.000-07:00

the chief had been pretty quiet and moody for the past week. the chief now knows why: because the chief had been coming down with the flu. now that the flu is here to stay, the chief feels miserable.

therefore you must give the chief money.

cash would be nice.

2005-08-17T08:46:00.000-07:00

hello.

please give me money.

thank you.

goodbye.

2005-08-16T06:25:00.000-07:00

up till today i've no idea who's been inviting all those strange creatures to my garden. i'd like to think that it was my dog kiko but she's kinda kept at the back of the house. in that case, i'd like to blame the fish, except the're stuck in the water and can't really communicate with other animals cos they're so silent.

honestly, in recent months, there've been bats, snakes, stray dogs, stray cats, stray terrapins, stray rabbits, weird birds, crazy giant lizards, MONKEYS (i kid you not) and anteaters. well actually the anteaters are just humans who enjoy eating ants in the garden, like my cousin matt, but that's not that point.

the point is, it's getting quite creepy and very soon i'll be living in a zoo, and i hate living in zoos cos they smell of camel saliva. not that i know how camel saliva really smells like, though i bet it couldn't be any better than the smell of your crap.

so yesterday i decided to do something about the whole situation. those intruders must be stopped at all costs, i told my bro. he decided to eat some cake instead.

so i went out to the garden for awhile but i couldn't think of anything so i decided to go back in and watch some tv instead.

2005-08-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

my comb just got stuck in my hair for the 2nd time this year. and i spent 20 minutes trying to get it out...equipped with scissors n the like if you must know.

2005-08-12T22:49:00.000-07:00

bah weep granah weep ninni bong (universal greeting). today is a special day. it is the day i interview the blogger of my favourite blog, found at http://cornygrass.blogspot.com

chief (C): hi
goodisgrass (G): hello
c: do you like grass or do you like corn?
g: yes
c: ok
g: [claps hands]
c: do you like hong kong rainbow noodles?
g: it's tasty [claps hands]
c: do you like hermits?
g: hahahahahaha [claps hands]

the end.

2005-08-11T10:48:00.000-07:00

i don't usually listen to classical music, but every once in awhile when i have trouble sleeping, i turn on my computer and look for some classical channel...

now it happens that it's pretty late in the night and i'm steadily falling deeper into dreamland when i hear this strangely familiar piece and i think i'm hearing things, but no, i get up and check the title, and hey!! guess what!! it's the song from d2!! by some matt uelmen guy or something!!! how weird is that!! on classical radio that plays bach and chopin and stuff. very very very strange. sorry now i'm all hyper after the intial weirding out phase.

and for a minute there, i thought i was going crazy. but if you recall, back when i was still into computer games, i used to have nightmares of the computer game demons killing me all the time...

2005-08-10T07:38:00.000-07:00

i sprained my elbow whilst trying on clothes today...how cool is that.

today is called "chief is clumsy day".

cos i struck my friend's wrist with that elbow, crashed into some crazy bushes, rammed my other elbow against the toilet door, got my shoes stuck in the drain, tripped over a step, almost broke a pair of sunglasses, stepped on someone's foot, dropped my bag on the road, knocked down the little posters in my friend's shop, kicked down the bigger posters in that same shop, and performed other unwitting acts of recklessless.

yea and all this happened today.

2005-08-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

i was so depressed about school starting that i slept for 20 hours at one go, bought 2 identical pairs of shoes, downed an entire box of cookies, drank 3 cups of milk, and ate one full mug of milo powder, and had a bowl of cabbage (HORROR! i never willingly consume veggies, especially not cabbage) ... and all these are just part of a list of extraordinary things i've done in the past few hours.

i wonder if this is how a rubbish bin in a kitchen feels like on a good day? i must admit that i'm feeling rather ill right now.

2005-08-02T06:18:00.000-07:00

many of those bad guys and arnold looking heroes have funky scars and injuries. you know, when these guys have bruises and cuts, it really looks cool. and when you think about why they have these bruises and cuts, you think, hey they are cool. like they can literally prance around thinking, a-punchin i will go, a-punchin i will go, heigh ho the dairy-o a-huntin and a-punchin and a-kickin and a-slammin' i will go...

what's up with the dairy-o part anyway? i mean unless you're from kung pow and wrestling a fierce cow in the meadows or something it doesnt really make much sense.

as i was saying. yes. scars. i have many scars. somehow i don't really come across as a heroic chief do i? i mean, ok my chipped tooth came about because i bit on my fork instead of fish, my right arm scar from experimenting with ironing my own hand when i was 8, my broken wrist from falling down whilst hoppin around, my torn ligament from walking in my room and slipping on the bed lining, my chin stitches from crashing my tricycle into a very naughty chair when i was happily balancing a ball in one one when i was 5, my right eye-lid cut from walking into a door...i can't even finish the list. almost as inexhaustable as the magic porridge pot, which happens to be my favourite kids' story book by the way.

i don't know...

i have a very sad life.

2005-07-28T09:26:00.000-07:00

i used to think that stuffing a chunk of playdough into the mcdonalds-playdough fries-maker thingy would produce a tasty batch of fries. i was wrong.

i once tried the yellow playdough and it tasted pretty bad even though it really looked like nice chunky fries. don't think you'd like it either. then again, one man's meat is another man's poison. although technically playdough isn't really meat and it couldn't really be that poisonous or else i wouldn't be blogging about this right now.

then one day i decided to experiment with my ingredients. i used a slice of bread instead and stuffed it through the thing and cranked the crankity crank crank thing and voila. shredded bread. then i spread some butter to make it yellow and ate everything up. that tasted a little better than the playdough although for some strange reason it didn't seem as appealing. i guess bread stuff just doesn't know how to mimic fries as well as playdough. i was so sad i decided to go to mcdonalds and buy a pack of real fries to put into the fries maker.

i poured the pack of fries in and unwittingly clogged up the machine and broke the crank whilst trying to force the soggy fries out of the machine.

ever since then i've never eaten playdough again.

2005-07-24T11:28:00.000-07:00

this martin character that i've been referring to on my blog would seem to have rather strange eating habits. as several of you have enquired about this mysterious boy, i shall present a short exposition on the development of his predilection for queer edibles.

it all started when he was just a baby. M and i were playing a game of bingo when he suddenly grabbed a bingo seed and devoured it like a giraffe. we got kinda worried. i mean, how can you play bingo with one less bingo ball thing? on the other hand, my mother was panicking 'cos babies don't usually eat plastic. but a few seconds later we realised he kinda pooped out the seed. thank goodness for our bingo set.

a few years later he grew up to be a short and tiny boy. his brain also grew, and he then he realised that strange eating habits also ran in the family. his brother ate kitchen rolls, tissue paper, sweet wrappers and bubble-blowing fluids whilst his sister enjoyed swallowing chewing gum, cotton, cloth and those bubble-blowing fluids too. and playdough.

with that, he decided to eat more normal things but in abnormal fashions so as to cater to his unconventional eating ways without seeming to eccentric.

the end.

2005-07-22T09:38:00.000-07:00

you guys really missed out. the piano concert was real good. i especially liked the warsaw concerto. and the bartok pieces. i didn't really like bartok's name though. at least he bothered to spell it different. like with an a and an r and an o and just one t. something like that. i think that's what my teacher called eutrophication or euthanasia or elephant or something. or am i talking about something entirely different. i don't really know. i'm getting confused.

anyways i thought that the item with the funky lead synthesizer beat thingy with 2 pianos in the background was kinda weird. then again i heard a rumour that went something like, the pianos were supposed to be the lead and the percussiony stuff the background. either way, i don't really like maksim-like things. they remind me of chinese porridge with vanilla ice cream mixed into it. that's one of tinn-o's favourite fusion dishes btw.

but i had lotsa fun seeing my old friends today. they're younger than the old friends at the home that we visited for the past few days. we brought the older friends to the airpot that day. have you ever watched that national lampoon christmas movie on the guy who almost crashed his plane into the tower? that was quite stupid. i still prefer van wilder. do you like van wilder? i like van wilder. i don't really like vans though. i like trucks i always will, big or small i like them still. i like trucks i always will. i. like. trucks.

actually i don't really like trucks, but i think that song was from kids' songs. i heard it about 9 times a day for a few weeks when matt was staying over. i like kid's songs. i wanna get that mr. globe costume. looks fun. more fun than seeing my old friends today.

goodbye.

2005-07-19T09:08:00.000-07:00

trees are murderous creatures. and i thought trouts were scary. (but not as scary as chickens.)

a tree tried to kill me today. if you see it, please kill it first. that evil wrongdoer deserves to be punished.

2005-07-17T07:34:00.000-07:00

o yea and please email/call me if you're interested in 88 -- a concert by vjc piano ensemble. featuring mary kate and ashley olsen. or was it eunice olsen.

please.

i beg you.

buy tickets.

ignore my tone of desperation.

it costs as much as a box of triple chocolate crunch from m&s!! that's cheap baby..

2005-07-15T11:18:00.000-07:00

i was doing some packing when i came across the first composition i ever wrote in primary 1. i think the teacher wanted us to write about our best friend, but i wouldn't really know. the first sentence goes, "my beast friend is bel" and it ends off with "bel is really the beast!". and the title is "my beast friend"

thinking back, bel was kinda beastly because her name starts with b and she liked beauty and the beast and she ate lotsa red meat with her bare hands. she also liked drooling and being the wolf during what is the time mister wolf.

bel was also my best friend because she used to give me lotsa presents like eraser shavings (pink and green and white) and staples (pink and blue and silver). but the best present she ever gave me was a pack of half eaten chocolates (brown). i don't know what happened to bel after the day some girl paid her $2 to be her best friend, but i'll always miss her presents.

2005-07-12T05:25:00.000-07:00

my real name is m.s.r.

i sometimes wonder if "s" stands for stair or steps or something. not s for something, although something does start with s, but something like, you know, something as in, something something. anyways, as i was saying.

today i accidentally fell off the stairs. it was pretty embarrasing. even though nobody really saw me fall or anything.

a few days ago, i didn't watch my step and sprained my ankle. (see: dumbass pothole) that was kinda painful.

many years ago, i voluntarily crouched at the top of the staircase and asked my brother to roll me down the entire flight of steps. i actually thought it was fun.

then again, i used to think that ironing handkerchiefs was fun.

2005-07-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

we were just talking about our dreams a couple of hours ago... here are some of my childhood dreams:

1) to be the person who opens the door of a mini-van (bus-aunty)
2) to be michael jackson's best friend
3) to be a superhero (which was why my bro and i kept eating those sticky and quite possibly mildly toxic bubble fluid things when we were young...)
4) to be a handkerchief iron-er
5) to own a cash register

till today i've yet to realise any of the above.

what are some of your aspirations?

2005-07-09T13:02:00.000-07:00

shit i accidentally posted on the wrong blog just now. please pardon me.

2005-07-07T07:55:00.000-07:00

martin's speciality, chicken head in coke from our F.D. dinner. hey bro, gotta tell ya, it tasted real bad.

2005-07-05T05:17:00.000-07:00

primary school toilets tend to resemble caves: they stink, they're usually wet (sometimes even flooded), they're kinda scary at night, and they have strange outgrowths along the walls/ground/ceiling.

my friend A used to be an expert at creating speleological-like features in p2. he specialised in white pulpy clumps made from good ol' clean loo rolls. he was so good, you could ask him to create a michael jackson papier-mache and he'd produce it in no time and fling it near the cubicle you liked the most. A was really impressive. but A started getting worried after awhile because of competition. because some of his friends were re-inventing their products. it was war.

these new products, they were huge. they were awesome. they were intricate. but most of all, they came in 3 different colours. white (clean water), yellow (not so clean water) and brown (not water).

A wanted to keep up his reputation, and decided to add colour to his catalogue. which obviously didn't quite work out too well given that he neither owned a pair of gloves nor a helmet. he also never really learnt how to use soap.

when i heard that he was gonna join the colour club i just couldn't bring myself to talk to A anymore. the last i heard, his new name was shitface or something.

what a pity, i thought he was a great friend. anyways the guys'd be glad to know that my other friend did some investigations and found out that these structures now come in red and green as well. go figure.

2005-07-03T22:21:00.000-07:00

you never really realise how small this country is until you see a bird of prey stroking his weed from the base of his neck in public. so by the special request of chris, this goes out to all da hotties in macc. good luck in your quest for the elixir. u guys know where to find it but do u have the guts to touch the tuft and twist? ha.

o and cl, thanks for the macc card. i don't remember you saying anything about e-bops in your terms n conditions...have fun my friends. don't forget to sterilize.

2005-07-02T07:18:00.000-07:00

hey guys i'm back from camp. it was better than i'd expected.

anyways we hardly slept on the last couple of nights so when i got home on friday, i kinda overslept and woke up late in the evening. which meant that i had to rush to avril's place n that also meant that we had to run in heels and skirts to zouk in order to get our 1 for 1 drinks. dude that was so uncool but whatever. the weirdest part was that as we were running like a buncha BOPs none of us fell down or tripped. but just as yours truly was about to walk calmly into the club, her damn hell, i mean heel, got caught in a dumbass pothole and you know what happened after that.

it was the weirdest clubbing experience ever, going with a sprained ankle. and i was icing my ankle at the counter and there was this big pool of water under my skirt. kinda resembled pee.

which reminds me of the time we were having tennis training in cedar and my friend kinda peed whilst doing jumping jacks. or was it starjumps. doesn't really make a difference anyway.

2005-06-22T09:25:00.000-07:00

i had a friend in primary one who used to be called vomit girl. nowadays i think they just call her barf girl. think it's because it sounds more heroic.

i used to sit next to vomit girl all the time. we used to sit in this little van that illegally harboured thousands of kids to school each morning. we had to pay $200 a month sit on the floor and in the boot on top of the schoolbags just to get to school each morning.

people used to hate vomit girl cos she stank up the whole bus every once in awhile. i used to wonder why they hated her so much cos she never spewed on them. she'd just throw up all over me since i was usually the nearest person. i'd pretty much reek of old chunky greenish porridgy looking things at the end of each unforunate ride to school. vomit girl would look and smell real clean though. if i hadn't known, i'd have thought that i did the puking.

anyway i was always happy when vomit girl vomited on me. not that i've vomit fetishes or anything. that's just plain gross. but every time my pinafore made me look as if i'd just eaten 2 cups of lumpy flour that went bad, i'd cry so loudly that the teacher wouldn't be able to teach. and then she'd call my mother. who'd come to school with a bar of soap a change of clothes (for me, you imbicile).

everyone'd ask me if i was feeling ok, and i'd always say no and then i'd pretend i was the one who was all sick and vomity. then i'd get excused from school for the rest of the day. then my mom would take me home. then i'd take a bath. then i'd be all happy and normal again, and enjoy the rest of the day watching tv at home whilst poor vomit girl stayed in class feeling all queasy n all.

queasy sounds like a good name for my future pet dragon. like "hey queasy! come here boy!" then again i couldnt possibly find a dragon anywhere. oh yea if you haven't seen my new pet, he's a green lizard called mr groove.

2005-06-15T08:44:00.000-07:00

yesterday on the train, my friends and i met quite a strange woman. we were talking about ice cream and chocolates and stuff, and it was getting quite exciting...but she kept interrupting us by cursing under her breath (in chinese) whilst looking at us contemptuously from the corner of her eye.

maybe she was on a diet or hated dairy or something.

after awhile, i think her eyeballs started to hurt or get tired cos she turned her head around, faced us and yelled at us in english, "YOU BETRAYERS!! YOU ARE CHINESE! YOU SHOULD SPEAK CHINESE!! HOW DARE YOU!! YOU THINK ENLGISH IS GREAT?! YOU ARE NOTHING!!"

i didn't wanna ruin the moment, but i just had to laugh.

funny thing is, she spoke english too.

the funnier thing is, i'm not even chinese.

2005-06-13T00:36:00.000-07:00

you know the postman is coming when you hear the sound of his little scooter thing in the distance.

you know the postman is probably just about 3 houses away when the dogs start barking like deranged freaks.

you know the postman is just outside your house when you hear the doorbell in the middle of the afternoon when you're not expecting anyone.

and you know the postman is IN your house when he starts to yell and you hear him slamming his crazy scooter horn furiously.

we just got a new maid about 3 weeks ago and frankly i don't blame her for trapping the postman inside our house. i guess when you come from a place with no electronic gates and no men with giant helmets on cutesy scooters, pressing the button that happens to close the gate can be quite fun, and inviting strange men in uniform to the house can be quite exciting. i don't know if it's because the postman refused to leave his vehicle or he didn't really like the moth on the wall or the mulan poster was just too scary for him to handle, but he seemed real eager to get out of our front porch...

2005-06-10T02:35:00.000-07:00

i love publicity stunts. like that really bodacious one i pulled by saying that my blog had moved. you fools.

still, don't be too discouraged by your stupidity because, by all your gullibilities combined, i am captain planet. (you know i'm very shy about expressing my feelings; so that little "i am captain planet" thing is just my way of saying how touhed i am.) it's really heartening to know that so many of you are dying because of the crap on my blog. or was it dying to read the crap on my new blog? my mind fails me these days. well whatever you guys felt, that's...cute. very cute.

anyways fyi, i had to remove the post about dragonball pants because my brother almost squeezed the adipose tissues out of me (hey wait, that'd be a good thing) when he found out that i'd somewhat exposed his secret love of skirts. i mean, shirts.

2005-06-07T05:17:00.000-07:00

i've moved. the blog i mean. o well.

2005-05-22T05:19:00.000-07:00

abcdefghijkl

mnopqur

stuvw

another bout of rigmarole to entertain you while i'm gone

--- --- on hiatus --- ---

2005-05-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

i was talking to friend about how much i missed literature class that day, and we started going on about symbolism and significance. well then.

what happens when your friend takes a photo of the esplanade at night with a crazy camera such that the end product depicts a metallic-green giant durian being torn asunder?

i suppose for the durian loving optimists, it would represent the release funky smells that would in turn represent the incipiency of heavenly tastes in abudance.

and i suppose for the not-so-fond-of-cuddling-durians-not-only-cos-they're-sharp-but-cos-they-kinda-smell-and-taste-weird type of people(e.g. myself): the broken shell and the pall of darkness surrounding and pervading the durian would symbolise the end of the reign of terrible fruits that might potentially haunt younger brothers. (e.g. my brother)

don't get me wrong, i love the esplanade. but i still don't understand why they had to adopt that durian thing. i do dislike durians, so i'm starting to confuse myself because i realise that this is not the first time i'm blogging about them. maybe there's a love-hate relationship going on between me and du.

well then, i should really stop writing.

and don't forget, kids, no matter how much you hate durians, never let your fear of them overwhelm you. my brother's phobia of the fruit is probably more embarrassing than being caught in a certain pair of shorts...

and that pair of shorts is exactly what i shall blog about next time.

i hope my brother doesn't sue me for defamataion.

2005-05-16T08:34:00.000-07:00

i can cook...I CAN COOK!!! IT'S A MIRACLE!!! burning myself twice on the left hand despite using microwave, i mean. but the food tasted great.

...as great as the chicken salad i made way back in sec 2 when we were having our home econs exam. i did so well my teacher almost gave me full marks. she thought i was incredibly talented. . she thought the recipe was excellent. and she thought the sauce on top of the whole thing was exquisite.

i didn't really know how it tasted though, which was a quite a pity. then again, as much as i've come to love myself, i just couldn't bring myself to chew on a salad with bulldog blood smeared all over the top.

i haven't always been the most careful person in the kitchen (see: burns from microwave). i accidently cut myself during the exam and in all the chaos of blood spurting out and spilling around, quite a large quantity made its way to the chicken and dead plants and all. i guess that stupid myth about how sweet my blood is because the mosquitoes keep coming has some truth in it. either that or my teacher is a vampire. or she just like weird tasting things.

i think i'll have to go with the third one cos i remember her throwing a potato into the dustbin and picking it up 10 seconds later only to chop it up and eat it without washing it. how funky it that.

2005-05-13T07:01:00.000-07:00

the chief is back. and so is starwars. and speaking of starwars...my cousin thinks he's a jedi guy thing person kiddo thing knight master something. yes. i don't know what to call him.

well i don't blame him for looking like a beggar in a bathrobe and a hood and all, and for thinking that the suit that martin got for some role in the quasimodo play was a jedi suit. yea but i do blame him for thinking that walking on a tredmill with the costume would make him look like he was floating in air...

and i do blame him for being dumb enough to wear something too long and too big on that moving machine...you can kinda imagine what happened...

which reminds me of the story where my brother bravely saved my other brother from getting killed on an escalator when his shoe laces got caught. with heroic dexterity he yanked the shoe out and...and i digress.

i'm sorry i'm not functioning well today. my brain needs warming up.

till then.

2005-05-02T08:40:00.000-07:00

short post for today. i'm kinda feeling crappy.

someone asked me about my name. chief bulldog.
intially it was some random name. i wanted it to sound like sitting bull or some red indian name cos i always thought those guys were cool.

but if you think about it...
what i say is mainly (chiefly) full of crap (bullshit) and i can be quite a bitch (dog) at times.
i think.
or i am the person who bulls the most (leader of crap = chief) in most situations.
whatever.

my throat hurts like crazy. and even though blogging technically involves typing, not speaking, i'm not going to blog till my throat recovers. i'll cya when i cya.

and wow. someone commented on my blog!

2005-04-27T08:43:00.000-07:00

sorry guys i'm not in the mood for hyperbolic story telling so i'll make this post as abrupt and bathotic as possible.

back in school, they used to call me the paparazzi. they also used to me pepperoni. and peter pan. and peter piper picked a pack of pickeled peppers.

anyway everyone knew that "bop" and "physical needs" went together like bread and butter, like nutty and putty, like ice cream and porridge -- just the perfect match. during class, MACC caught bop fulfilling these needs privately under the table. so MACC took out a camera to catch the bird in the act. but MACC was stupid because MACC did not turn off the flash. and so poof. a bright, blinding white engulfed the universe and everyone went blind forever and ever.

the end.

just kidding. let me start from poof again.

and so poof. the stinking flash went off and the teacher jumped and asked "what was that!". so MACC said "er" and the teacher was getting all hysterical and jumping around screaming "what was that!!!!" and so MACC said, "chief's camera phone was not locked", and the teacher bought it.

a few weeks later on a bright and sunny day in a different class, the same thing happened. this time it was a chinese class. so the teacher asked "shee-shaw-hee-haw-wacchamacallit". this time MACC didn't know how to say "chief's camera phone was not locked" because MACC didn't know how to say the word "chief" in chinese, so MACC said, "ni-hao-ma-lightning-wo-hao". and the teacher bought it.

and the moral of the story is, teachers like eating frogs. don't ask me how i got to that. i'm too tired.

the end.

2005-04-25T09:58:00.000-07:00

i have a friend whose name is x. and bingo is his name-o. sorry, just ignore the italics.

x is the type of friend who likes to be all bodacious and stuff. x is always jumping off stairs and shuffling around and trying to cartwheel in the middle of the road. one day, a big group of us went out for dinner. x was being very x by playing around with the trays and trying out some fancy schmancy stuff. not bad, thought everyone. after dinner, x wanted to be photographed with a statue of a cow. that went pretty well too.

but everything changed when we reached the escalator. x was in a trigger happy mood. x said, hey chief, u got a camera? i said, yea. x said, ok check out this cool rotating move i got. i said, ok x. so x says, snap on the count of 3.

so x counted...1,2,3. and i snapped my fingers. and x says, nono you stupid, snap a photo. i said, ok.

so 1, 2, 3. x did some 360 swirl on the escalator that ended up becoming a 180 because x kinda tripped and fell. i think everyone felt bad because you could tell they were covering their faces and shaking violently. kinda like sobbing heavily. or maybe they were just laughing. x didn't ackowledge that something wrong had happened. kinda like the time when jimmy ray tripped over the mike wire and turned it into a super cowboy move. so x insisted it was a super cowboy move without the cowboy thing going on.

on the way home, i felt sad for x because x believed (and still believes) that stupid looking poses look way cool. i wonder why i mix around with such people.

2005-04-23T08:04:00.000-07:00

many people have their "top 10 favourite songs" or "top 10 favourite porn site" or "top 10 names for my goldfish" lists or something. i have my "top 10 embarrassing moments for 22nd and 23rd of april" list.

1) paying the pizza man $30.90 in coins. only.
2) paying the ticket guy $23.00 in 2 dollar notes. only.
4) not being able to count.
10) having a friend who has 4 boobs. in this case i can count.

2005-04-21T10:29:00.000-07:00

when i was in primary five, i had to write a story with the title "if i were a dog". i couldn't really imagine what it'd be like being a dog, though i remember writing that i thought that being a dog was quite a horrible thing because people'd probably call me "bob" or "milo" or "fluffy" or "rainbow" or "fifi" or something stupid.

dogs are really strange animals though. they can be quite crazy and deranged at times. like when they decide to attack poor innocent people. like me.

dogs often like to dart towards me with their teeth baring. i don't know what dog vision is like. maybe my face looks like a camera to them. when i was 9 i was almost eaten alive by a dog except a blue dustbin saved me from getting dog teeth stuck in my veins.

dogs seem to like to eat the weirdest things. other than undertall girls, they like going for their own poop. i wonder if it's tasty. dogs also seem to like to go for that area under the belt. i wonder if that's tasty too. hm. those crazy canines.

2005-04-19T08:59:00.000-07:00

someone asked me why certain posts were disappearing? e.g. canada, macc, results day etc...

sometimes i get so carried away with certain things i just write and write and write and forget that this is a public blog. and these posts are usually irrelevent to the blog. they just don't follow the theme. although honestly, i have no idea why i have a theme for this blog and what that theme is.

2005-04-19T08:32:00.000-07:00

the most professional looking photo that i ever took in my life is the one right up there of the tall trees. whenever i showed that photo to my friends on my camera, they'd ask me where i took the shot. for awhile i said, oh, you know, the forest down the road. well of course i was lying because there was no forest and we weren't in any road-y place.

then one day it struck me that pinocchio got his long nose from lying too much. i pretty much liked my nose the way it was (and still is) so i figured i should tell them the truth. but nobody believed me when i started telling the truth, cos i told them i got the photo taken in a train station.

i really like my friends so it was difficult for me to come to terms with the fact that they were slow. i realised that because it was only about 3 months later when we were walking around in the train station that they realised that there was a poster mounted on the wall which looked exactly like this.

2005-04-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

today's word of the day on m-w.com is abecedarian, which, naturally, prompted thoughts about school. cedar was truly hellish. except for our attempted assasinations, code names, collective resentment...

which brings me to this: lingfish is a very very important person in my life. why?

cos lingfish helped me get through hell if cedar is hell.
and lingfish is crappy. just look at that. that's from her blog. the skirt thing. but it's a good thing i love crappy people because they crack me up.
lingfish also tolerates my disgusting sense of humour. not many people can perform such a noble feat.
lingfish encourages me all the time. and stones with me a lot.
lingfish and i used to bitch about yen square and bozo all the time. and blue whale.
lingfish is aka bozo now that the real bozo is gone.
lingfish and i can burn cookies and brownies very well.
and lingfish is real nice and really cool to hang out with and doesn't look her age, just like me.
and she's very good at the piano for someone who doesn't know piano.
and she helped me get my A for O levels because her chinese is awesome.
and lingfish and i invented an entire alphabet. i remember the time we wrote some notes in class and even though the teacher took it, she had no idea what it meant cos it was totally in symbols.
and lingfish even wrote a pretty tribute to mermaid! and that would be me.
lingfish rawks. what would i do without her!!!!!

2005-04-14T09:15:00.000-07:00

christmas has got to be the best time of the year. presents, lights, yes yes love and all the giving, sharing blah blah things. but the coolest thing about christmas is the fact that you'd be able to see strangely dressed chinese old men in bizarre costumes walking down the roads of singapore.

check out these guys. not check out as in check out, but u know, check out. they were kinda hanging out with other old men in armour and robes. not that it was very impressive, but it sure was anachronistic.

chris asked the guard, "are you pontious pilate?" and he was like "who's pilate?" so we were kinda like "okay" and we left. come to think of it, what would pilate be doing in a christmas pageant thing?

2005-04-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

i used to have pet rabbits. they gnawed each anothers' ears off.

i also used to have 3 rabbit dolls. i gnawed their faces off.

on many occassions, my mum had to sew the rabbits up. kinda like giving them plastic surgery. after awhile, they started looking un-rabbity. for example, my favourite black-rabbit eventaully turned out looking like a black square pillow.

this is the last of the rabbits. for some reason i never really scratched its ears off. for some miraculous reason, it still maintains the faintest silhouette of a real rabbit doll. people call it a horror rabbit. i call it cute.

2005-04-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

ah tong's nuts. personally, i wouldn't wanna eat them.

2005-04-09T09:31:00.000-07:00

i love toys. that's why i think toys r us is the coolest place in the universe. i like the mask section 'cos i think it's real neat.

this scary looking prince/princess/royal-troll-looking thingy is actually my friend chris. chris looks strange here.

i wanted to buy the legolas costume but it said for kids aged 4 to 8. that really made me sad. but when i went home i realised that i was probably short enough to fit in the costume. but it'd still be weird if i bought it anyway. so i decided not to.

i wish we could all celebrate halloween here so that i'd get a chance to dress up. i want to be an apple.

2005-04-08T09:42:00.000-07:00

i was happily sitting on a chair one day when i saw the most amazing thing ever: a stray balloon flying about at the back of my house.

well actually it was a red balloon caught in a tree. the wind kinda blew the thing free.

anyways it was kinda freaky at first cos i thought it was some sorta UFO thingy. but really, it was just a balloon.

i wondered where the balloon came from because nobody walks along the road at the back of my house. i wondered which stupid kid would carry a red balloon around and tie it to a tree or, even worse, let go of the string and let it get caught in a tree.

of course i got really excited about it and took out my camera. i thought it was quite artistic of me to get this shot. stray dogs and cats and ants are one thing, anyone could take a photo of them. but it's not very often that you see stray red balloons. i really oughta win some prize for most exciting photo of the year.

2005-04-08T06:59:00.000-07:00

farewell to our holy father, pope john paul II (1920-2005). he is, truly, worthy of sainthood.

"...We can be sure that our beloved pope is standing today at the window of the Father's house, that he sees us and blesses us. Yes, bless us, Holy Father. We entrust your dear soul to the Mother of God, your Mother, who guided you each day and who will guide you now to the eternal glory of her Son, our Lord Jesus Christ. Amen."

2005-04-02T08:23:00.000-08:00

i know people say things like "easy as abc" or "easy peasy" and stuff. but what's with the "it was chicken feed" thing? chicken feed sounds like chicken feet. i really think chicken feet look pretty disgusting. i guess it's cos they remind me of baby's hands or something. just look at the picture. i was at the supermarket when i saw this pack of crinkly ol' skin with tiny cute fingers and sicko claw-like fingernail looking thingys. i just had to photograph it. i think some people are gonna slap me for this.

2005-04-01T07:33:00.000-08:00

i love my little ponies. i used to play fighting games when i was young, which generally entailed ponies fighting against robots. and i remember having the entire pony village with the swimming pool and houses and all, it was super cool 'cos the robots could invade and kill the ponies. my brother controlled the robots.

i also remember cutting off the ponys' tails thinking that they'd grow back but they never did. that was quite disappointing. so was today's trip to toys r us cos i couldn't find any my little pony toys. but i did find the my little pony memory game at ntuc, which was pretty strange...

2005-03-29T05:17:00.000-08:00

"food" is a subject i feel strongly about. people who know me know that i absolutely detest vegetables. i guess it's just kinda weird eating the same things that cows and giraffes eat. maybe it's a psychological disorder. i dunno. i remember the time lingfish & i went to marche and ate 60 bucks worth of food. none of it had vegetable things inside. except the rosti. rosti was potato stuff. is potato a veg? i have no idea. . potato, potatah. tomato, tomatah...potatoes, i can handle. but tomatoes?

yesterday i had a bowl of tomato soup. it was disgusting. kinda like drinking watery ketchup with a spoon. but i kept telling myself it was "healthy" stuff and tried my best to finish up the damn thing. didn't really work though.
so to sum it all up, i end with a famous quote from a good friend of mine:

"mer....i'm really looking forward to marmalade pantry....... and i'm sorry i suggested original sin. but if your palate ever changes....do let me know coz it's a really really great place. even for canivours....though not for veg haters...."

2005-03-27T07:05:00.000-08:00

happy easter everyone. yesterday was really cool and the sleepover was a blast and the chocolate party was incredible. i hadn't gotten any sleep for over 30 hours and it was quite a strange experience. i know some people have gone on longer than that but it was a pretty interesting for a first timer like me. i wonder if that's how zombies are formed. they are actually humans who don't sleep over prolonged periods of time. then they go all woozy and cranky and become a zombie. and remember, zombies are meant to be shot. i don't wanna be shot so i guess i should get some sleep now. goodnight.

2005-03-20T05:00:00.000-08:00

i've never liked durians. they taste ok but they smell like crap. but nobody beats my youngest bro. not in terms of taste and smell, but in terms of sentiments about durians. he has a fear of durians. he likes to lock himself up in his room and go hysterically mad when he thinks there's durian. you could put a bowl of custard in front of him and trick him into smelling durian smells.

anyway, today we had lunch near the "durian". not the edible one. just the big one in the middle of town. i'm not sure if it's the middle but it's somewhere around there. but if you still don't know what i'm talking about, i meant the artsy place with a spikey roof. that reminded me of the time i decided to hang around the roof of the building. they were cleaning the spikes. it was really cool. i think i might want to do that one day. it seems fun wearing fireman looking clothes whilst climbing a giant fruit. i always wondered if the spikes would ever drop off. that would be pretty nasty.

2005-03-19T06:35:00.000-08:00

i'm a cloth convert. cloth is not the name of a band, nor a television show. cloth is cloth. i guess you could call it a cover too.

last night was a freezing cold night in church when we stayed over, and i was getting very bad goosebumps. i also almost stopped breathing because my nose was blocked. i thought i would just freeze up like an ice sculpture when suddenly cloth came in handy. you see i had no jacket, so i had to make do with the cloth that covers the organ. it was very dusty and thin, but i just draped it on like a blanket. thinking back, i shouldn't have done that because i trapped the cold air inside which made me feel worse. actually, i think it would've made a better cape than a blanket. but anyways it was fun and now i'm having flu-like symptoms. i think i am sickly girl but i'm not too sure. all i know is that i haven't eaten vegetables and fruits in ages. they taste weird.

when i was in kindergarten, they served vegetables once in awhile. i didn't like eating green things so i told the teacher that i was allergic. which i wasn't. the teacher believed me anyway, probably because she didn't think a 5 year old could come up with such a strange excuse for not eating.

2005-03-17T22:29:00.000-08:00

my brothers and i do really crazy stuff. we decided to have a coconut peeling competition once. i think it was because we'd watched too much monty python. anyways, that's the picture of the winner's hands peeling the last bits of the coconut. after that we did some role playing (horsey-clop-clop sounds).

extract from monty python & the holy grail:
GUARD: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin' 'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter coveredthis land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.

2005-03-16T23:46:00.000-08:00

i guess i must've been really bored to have done something like this. but really, spidey has to be one of my favourite superheroes. i even gave him a medal and some adoring fans.
all this kinda makes me think of kurt angle. now all that's missing is a hair-piece and a helmet. he even comes in the colours of the american flag.

question.why are most superheroes from the US? i've never really heard of many indian superheroes, for example. or maybe i'm just dumb. what about, singaporean superheroes. please don't tell me vr man was one or i'll have slap your eyes out.

oh yes, chris, i've heard that NY immigration/customs is really scary. apparently they make you strip down to your underwear, interrogate you, shout at you and take your photos and fingerprints. at least that's what some of my friends/relatives who've recently (recently, as in 2005) been there have said.

anyway back to superheroes. my favourite is moleculo (the molecular man) and my next favourite is captain linger.

2005-03-16T08:22:00.000-08:00

ok i admit, i'm obsessed with the bloggerbot thingy. but u gotta admit this photos is pretty damn awesome. the coolest cubicle in the world, courtesy of macc, 2003.

i stepped on doggy poo today. not pretty.

2005-03-16T08:14:00.000-08:00

some things are so hard to forget. i'm just visiting old memories...like foaming up the school toilet.

2005-03-14T07:16:00.000-08:00

usually i find that bus and mrt rides are great times to embarrass myself by falling asleep and knocking my head all over the windows and seats. but today i decided to try something else. i had a good time reflecting on the greater things in life on the way home today. this is what i've come up with. basically what i would like to call: soul searching. finding my flaws. am i alliterating?

1) i have speech problems, i can't pronounce my words properly, i think i slur and mumble a lot. afehasldfhaflshdfalhawerycskgczjx. something like that. refer to point 2.
2) i can't carry out decent conversations with anybody (except my brothers) which really sucks cos there's always an awkward silence when i'm with someone. i really hope i'm not the only one in the world who can't seem to socialise properly for the lack of things to say.
3) i'm too short so people have difficulties keeping track of where i am. i always get lost.
4) i'm so boring and unadventurous, so refer to point number 2.
5) i've a fear of probably about 23147124,12348731,234789 things, so refer to number 4.
6) i'm quite disgusting and weird
7) the strangest things happen to me all the time and i always have to cancel plans. this irritates me and i bet irritates all of you too.
8) i'm always sick so i get stuck at home or can't talk on the phone.
9) i have a strange sense of humour, refer to point 6
10) i spend too much time doing nothing

2005-03-10T02:19:00.000-08:00

a prata-curry overload can be detrimental to one's health. i learnt this today. a first hand experience might i add.

i haven't been working. i have been sleeping at home for hours. the most terrible headache has been plaguing me for days. ok only 2 days, but you gotta understand how irritatingly painful it becomes after awhile.

other than that i think i'm slowly morphing into an oversized slow loris.

just a parting thought...if quasi means what i think it means, then what does quasimodo mean? ya know, the guy from hunchback...hmm...quasi-straightbackedguy? quasi-turtleman? man, this is tougher than i thought.

2005-03-06T08:25:00.000-08:00

i'm sure that everyone has done something that they've regretted. i've definitely regretted NOT doing some things. but for now, all i can say is, I WISH I'D READ THE NEWS!
honestly i'm so unsavvy when it comes to current affairs and history and all that. now how am i ever going to make it through any interview?

2005-03-03T05:14:00.000-08:00

this morning i had a driving (practical) lesson. positively the most horrendously disastrous one ever. honestly, i'd been terrific in the 1st 2 lessons, but today. today was a different story. i nearly killed myself but i guess i could blame the instructor as well. i had to pedal the brakes and accelerator and clutch without having my hands on the steering wheel because he insisted on stretching out his arm from the passanger's seat and steering with his hand. which was impressive. but dangerously stupid. remember the funky la cucaracha scene in 'wrongfully accused'? yea well it looked something like that. except this time there were cars all around ready for some smithereen action. i just wanted to use that word.

2005-03-02T08:32:00.000-08:00

i had a (personal) record breaking lunch today.
not that it was very expensive, not that it was a horse's brain, not that it was an original recipe. but i took 3.5 hours to finish up a tiny chicken sandwich. amazing, huh? especially considering how quickly i usually eat my lunch. the waitors kept wanting to clear my plate.

1st attempt to rob me of my food (true story):
"excuse me, ma'am, can i clear this?"
"no, i'm still eating"
and they give me a weird look.

2nd attempt (also true):
"hi there ma'am, can i clear your plate?"
"er..no i'm still not done yet"
and they give me a weirder look

a couple more attempts. i can see them getting all worked up over taking back their plate.

nth attempt (no kidding, "n" is a variable number)
they just grab my plate
"sorry, i'm not done yet, could you give me back my plate?"
and with a very tight grin...they reluctantly put down the plate. but hey, i'm telling you there was still a lot of bread on the plate.

i wonder why they were in such a hurry.
then again they must've been wondering why i took so damn long to finish a pathetic piece of bread.

2005-03-01T07:34:00.000-08:00

are computer thingys capable of practising sadism? i'm pretty sure blogger's got something against the human race. every single time there's a nice long post waiting to be published, blogger decides to get rid of it. so now i feel like Bill Murray in groundhog day...here i go again, feigning enthusiasm. whoopee doo..

malaysia airlines, i love you! thank you, the airfares look really good. (enthusiastic enough?)
but i'm serious. check this out:

Option 1

booking ends: 4 march
travel period: 11 march to 18 june

new york: $838
los angeles: $838

Option 2

travel period: 1 may - 31 may

brisbane: $418
sydney: $418
london: $628
perth: $318

ok now only one special place is missing, unfortunately. but in the famous words of lance storm, my ex-hero, "don't blame canada, blame yourself".

2005-03-01T02:53:00.000-08:00

yesterday, i logged onto blogger and realised that my old blog had mysteriously disappeared. but, really, i must stop lying to myself. the truth is, strange beings such as myself thrive on base, absurd, trivialities such as deleting their blogs. for fun.

so this morning i happily decided to choose the same boring template for my new blog (ie. this blog) and give it a spanking new title and url. now tell me, is that exciting, or is that exciting?

speaking of excitement, did you know that that our results will be announced in just 3 short days? ok so that's not all too exciting, but there'll be so much trauma...i suppose the waiting part might just kill me once and for all. but after that, for me, the most traumatising bit of it all will be the phonecalls from the ostensibly concerned but genuinely scheming old men and women. the chagrin! the horror! and a big hardy har har from those bastards on the other line with schaudenfreud tendencies to yours truly. i make myself depressed.

i've sorta worked out a plan for that day. wake up late. meet macc. head for school with macc. make sure dad drives to school to wait for me, just in case. (i'm a brat if you didn't know by now). hope for the best. and go down to mortons'. haha. well yes, mortons' ... for better or worse. to celebrate or to console. depressing isn't it?

but yesterday when we went over there, the waitor said he'd buy us a drink if we actually showed up on friday. now, i was talking about hypocrites just 2 paragraphs above (see: concerned - scheming) but right now i'm about to admit: i go to there on pretense of loving the martinis (which are great, btw). in truth, the the sandwiches are and will always be my true love. admit it people, you love the sandwiches too!!!! i know it!! i can see it in your eyes and your drool's really giving you away. but yes, morton's is good. now you can't take me seriously. i always know how to ruin the moment, don't i ;)